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Defecating While Eating Secret to Goat State of Zen

In a remarkable study done by “Territorial Ranchers Using Mammals for Publicity”, or T.R.U.M.P. for short, the historically nervous fainting goats were able to overcome their fear by practicing active evacuation while eating.

The study was conducted by farmers that demonstrated an interest in “eating what you’re fed and shovelling crap” according to the beer-reviewed paper.

During the research, the goats demonstrated impressive levels of calm and confidence while ingesting absolute garbage and simultaneously pushing out picture-worthy “crowd pleasers.”

The researchers concluded that pushing out a ‘groaner’ is considerably easier when chewing on any item that “harkens back to simpler times”, or is covered in dark chocolate.

The researchers are planning a more extensive study that includes more external pressures like being hated by nearly the whole of humanity.

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