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Pro-Choice Bighorn Sheep Protest Female Pro-Life Stance

If you’re tired of seeing gender gaps undermining equality in our society, look no further than the animal kingdom.

In a landmark study, females in the animal kingdom live 18% longer than males on average.  “This study reveals an unforgivable inequality in gender rights” states Biggie Horn, a bighorn sheep rights activist.

“The female’s pro-life stance imposes their lifespan on our personal right to choose whether or not to live longer.  We’re out here just trying to survive and these girls are all like ‘ima just go on livin’, or whatev’s.'”

The study points out that the average female animal lifespan is measurably higher than the males, even in the human kingdom.

“They say men are privileged for making 8-9% higher salaries, but these broads are living 8-9% longer.” points out Biggie, “so do people want to live longer, or get paid better?  I don’t know about you, but I choose life, and I don’t appreciate females imposing their lifespan on our lives.”

Female sheep argue that they deserve to live longer based on the fact that only idiots would constantly risk their life to protect their families. 

“I ain’t gonna beat my head against some sexist pig,” states Ewey ewe, a female of the same herd, “Not when I could dye my fur pink and open an honest dialogue.”

Scientists admit that any disparity between average herd responsibility and compensation has not been fully studied.

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