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Bipolar Polar Bear Quits and Moves to Gilroy

“I actually hate snow and ice and cold and all that crap” says a polar bear by the name of Chilly Buns. Chilly continues, “I’ve always loved garlic and Gilroy California seems like a great fit.”

Chilly was discovered by a anthropologist who was studying the effects of frigid weather on instant ramen in the North Pole when he happened upon Chilly Buns. “It was clear he wasn’t ok”, says Dr. Mark Makers, “so I asked him if he needed help. He told me he was ‘born in the wrong part of the globe’ and that it was his ‘destiny to live in a warm climate environment farming the greatest food ever created, garlic.’”

It was clear to Dr Makers that Chilly was having a psychotic event. “It seemed as if he was hampered by some emotional and mental issues so I decided to offer him some ramen.” Chilly Buns didn’t appreciate the offer, “are you and idiot?!! I’m a polar bear! Why would I eat ramen?!! I Quit!” Chilly then lashed out at the Dr. and chewed his scalp off before heading south where he was last spotted hitchhiking somewhere around Tacoma Washington.

In the end we all can learn something from Chilly. Just because you have fur and claws and are slightly unpredictable when it comes to murder and stuff, don’t let that stop you from achieving your dreams. Don’t let nature push you around!

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