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Drug Dealing Bears Threaten Hikers

Meredith Marconi an active hiker in Northern California recalls her recent hike to the McCloud Falls as quite “horrifying.” “I went on my usual hike to one of my favorite spots in Northern California when I witnessed something unprecedented. Two bears laying comatose under a felled redwood.”

Seems the Fentanyl issue has clearly infiltrated our natural forests. It seems bears of all species have quit their normal day to day activities and have thrown in the towel on fishing and hibernating.

“The natural balance of our forests could be ruined” says Dr. Mark Pepper. “If these animals simply quit and give into drug use, they will destroy the balance of order within the animal kingdom.”

Dr. Pepper says us humans are much wiser than animals, and it’s “our responsibility to return order to the animal kingdom.”

He says these drug dealing bears will soon claim the forests as their own and become aggressive if we don’t do something. Plans are currently underway to offer the addicted bears free honey if they quit. Not to be outdone the drug dealing bears are sure to retaliate. Meantime, salmon populations have boomed. Stay tuned for further updates.

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