In a surprise move following Floyd Mayweather’s money-printing boxing match against YouTube star Logan Paul, the Mayweather team has announced another can’t-miss pay-per-view event. The July 4th, 2021 bout will feature Mayweather’s pet Tiger and YouTube sensation Tucker Budzyn.
“We just want to give the people what they want; superfluous opportunities to give us their money for sub-par entertainment” states Mayweather’s “Money Team” after announcing the 3-round event.
Tucker is an adorable golden retriever that has amassed over 3.5 million followers on YouTube over his sometimes frenzied (and hilarious) reactions to everyday items. Mayweather’s pet Tiger, on the other hand, is a ferocious apex predator known for killing and eating anything less powerful than itself.
“People love seeing Tucker in whimsical everyday situations,” The Money Team said in a statement, “so it’s natural for his audience to want to see him in a mono a mono fight for survival against an animal nearly 400 pounds heavier than him and solid muscle. It’s gonna be great – and only $39.99 on Showtime!”
Big Cat Rescue organizations have expressed concern over the legalization of exotic animal fights, while others have expressed concern over the existence of Big Cat Rescue organizations. “If they don’t want people to have them, why is it that they end up with all of them?” asked one boxing fan, “two words: bestiality.”
I don’t know about you sports fans, but I can’t wait to see a household pet that considers himself a star face-off against a dangerous predator simply for the thrill of a little recognition, and $20 million dollars. You can come to my house July 4th to watch the bloodbath, I already dipped into the kids tuition account to throw an open-bar rager!
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